Where's the camera?

So I thought about it today. Remember that old Jim Carey flick, "The Truman Show"? If you're too young for this or never saw it, it's a movie about how a company basically owns a baby, and they create a fake world for him to live in, filming his daily life and broadcasting it as a TV show to the rest of the world. They are the architects of his life, of all his fears, personal shortcomings, and faults, as they orchestrate his life the way they want it to appear. Eventually, Truman frees himself but for more details you'll have to watch the movie.

Well I feel lately like it might be nice if someone would walk up to me and say, "Hey, it was all a gag. This isn't really your life, the cameras are over there!"

I just wish I could sink into nothing and disappear. Not like more than two or three people would really miss me or anything. It's been over a year and a half since the last time I held employment. Luckily I got an extension on my unemployment but that won't last forever. I feel like a worthless pile of crap, since I can't find work. I just feel so depressed, I have no idea what I'm going to do, and I don't know where my life is headed. I feel like I have no control over my life, like the only thing I can do is watch, and wait for credits to roll.

Well I'll keep it short tonight, I've been losing sleep so I can't really come up with anything to say more than this.

Have a good one.

EDIT:

You know what? It's always that one fucking person who turns it from a downer night into a bad night.

I usually don't put much stock in what people say and do on the internet, but when it's personal, something a friend should know, I get pissed off.

I made a funny post a minute ago about people not liking me on my friend's status and within minutes several people had already "liked" it. People who know I get depressed, and people who know that I care what they say.

I'm forced to wonder if they'd still like that comment as much if they found out that I was thinking about killing myself, or if somehow they found out tomorrow that I had ended my own life. I really wonder if they'd like it so much then.

Bastards.
Goodnight.